The Microsoft Bowl

Before we somehow managed to beat Virginia Tech, and get to play Joe Pa in the Orange Bowl, I was afraid we might end up in the Microsoft Bowl.

1. It will be announced for the fall, but won't actually occur until spring.
2. Periodically all the players will freeze solid on the field and the game restarted from the beginning.
3. No security will be provided; others may give you viruses and/or may spy on you. It costs money to cry for help.
4. Your seat may be taken by someone assuming your identity.
5. Ticket prices will be 5 times what they should be.
6. You may not move to any other sports event from this one - but you can easily move from any other event to the MS Bowl.
7. You may upgrade, but the seat must be equal or better to the one you had last year. You cannot move to a lesser seat once you have attended any MS bowl.
8. You don't actually own the ticket, just the right to possess it.
9. After 15 minutes, you must verify your presence and identity to continue to attend.
10. Once you learn the rules for one MS Bowl, they will be changed and you must learn new ones all over again.